So i wasn't the one
by anais345
Summary: She left. She had no choice. But now, it feels like part of me left with her. And she just threw that part away. Gale's POV.
1. Chapter 1 : Lost

Hunger games

Chapter one : Lost

**Gale's POV**

Hurt. Riped appart. Destroyed. This couldn't be happening. Primrose, why was your name the one to be picked? One chance, out of a million. But that hadn't been enough. Oh, Katniss, how I understand your pain. How terrible it has to be for –

« I VOLUNTEER » you shouted.

WHAT? Katniss… dont do that to me! Don't kill yourself. Think of your family, of your mom. If you can't bring them food, how will they survive? Oh, right, I will help them. Of course I can get enough food for both our families but…

Why is it so bad? Why does this feel like your taking my heart away with you? We've never been more then friends – right? But then, why…

I pulled Prim off your waist and sended you a sad look. I tried to make it encouraging, but it made no sense anymore. You were leaving. And you had no clue how bad that felt to me.

My thoughts trailed away and the boy's name was picked out of the huge glass bubble. It wasn't important now, and it wasn't me anyways. The baker's son would have a hard time where you were going. He obviously wasn't a fighter. Now, if only all of the other disrticts could send people like him to the games… you would have a chance.

You're strong. But not strong enough.

Prim stopped sobbing in my arms. Effie presented both of our tributes, both of you. Nobody applaused. Slowly, I raised my left arm to my lips and showed only three fingers. As if the others knew you as much as i did, they al stayed silent and lifted their hands.

Katniss. You have always been my best friend. You are the only person whom I've ever trusted. My every thoughts are with you. Not only now, but since I have met you. But you're a hunter. And this is a hunt.

Goodbye Katniss. Good luck, my only true friend.

I'll miss you.


	2. Chapter 2 : last meeting

Chapter 2 : Last meeting

The tributes are leaving. You are leaving. I look at you for as long as I can. Then i remember that there is a time to say gooddbye to our tributes. I'll come.

« Prim, its time to go home. » I say.

No.

Prim…

NO! What will my mom say…

She already knows… she probably saw it on tv.

But… But… Ohhhh, Katniss… she sobbed.

I miss her too. I miss her so much every time I breathe out, it feels like a piece of my soul leaves. It hurts so much, you have no idea…

I watch her eyes go wide and the tears rolling on her cheeks. I can't let her down. I had promised Katniss I would fend for her family if anything was to happen to her, and she had done the same for me… so many years ago. Another era. A better one. We walk to Katniss' house in silence to find her mother in such a terrible state, I can't describe it. Her eyes are red from the salty water they shed, her hair is a mess. She looks like a scared animal frightened and worried. We stare at each other for several minutes until we hear Effie's voice from the center of the district. She is informing us of the hours of visits. Her mom stiffen's as she attemps* to look alright, miserably failing. In 60 minutes, I will see my best friend for the very last time.

Might a well be 60 seconds. Time flies and then we're off to the Justice Building. A short line is already forming in front of Katniss' room. Some people surprise me. Peeta's father? Really ? He must be trying to protect his son… also Madge, i didn't expect her to be that close of Katnip. Then stands her mother followed closly by Prim and me. Peeta also has a few visitors, but I don't know them. I only reconise* his mom.

Nasty woman. We all know she beats him.

The visits seem extremely long but the probably didn't last more than half an hour. I get in the room. I'm not surprised by what I see, only annoyed : the decoration here probably cost more than all my house. I look at Katniss and her eyes, their so desperate, such a contrast with the determination they usually hold. I open my arms and she almost runs into them. We stay this way for a few seconds. In that short laps of time, i notice her heart is beating like a humming-bird's wings and despite all her efforts, she is shaking. She may be strong but she is scared. Before I know it, I start giving her advices, trying to help her.

No thats not true. I'm trying to help myself. Maybe, if I tell her reassuring things, well then maybe, I won't be so useless…

« Listen, getting a knife should be pretty easy, but you've got to get your hands on a bow. Thats your best chance. » _With a bow_, i think, _you can do anything_.

« They don't always have bows » i wonder if she, like me, is recalling the one time where the tributes had to smash each others heads with spike-balls. Ugh. I shiver involunterly*.

« Than make one. » _She would never kill someone with such a horrible weapon._ « Even a weak bow is better than no bow at all. »

If she has a bow, Katnip will survive. Its the only way. If there is a way.

« I don't even know if there will be wood. »

Crap. I can't think of that now.

« There's almost always some wood. » _Why did I have to add almost?_ « Since that year half of them died of cold. Not much entertainment in that. »

She says something but i don't hear her. I'm thinking to hard. But the look on her afces makes me say what I really think of her.

« Katniss, it's just hunting. You're the best hunter i know. »

« It's not just hunting, she answers. They're armed. They think. »

« So do you. And you've had more practice. Real practice. You know how to kill. » my mind becomes more and more confused as I see their is no way she can win, no matter what I say, no matter how hard i wish.

« Not people. » she says, and her voice seems to have a higher pitch than usual.

Now i have to lie.

« How different can it be, really? »

A hard expression replaces the worried one on her face. The peacekeepers open the doors and come to separate us. But I'm not done. She isn't either, apparently because she yells : « Don't let them starve! »

« I won't ! You know I won't ! » I quickly answer. « Katniss remember I – but then the doors close and she can't hear the last part of my sentence – 'll never let you down… I love you… »

Love. This feeling makes no sense anymore. It makes so little sense that it transforms to anger as the Capitols workers pull me away from this wonderfull girl.

I hope she doesn't forget me. I hope her death doesn't hurt her too much. I hope her death doesn't hurt _me_ too much…

I watch the train leave and my heart crumples. It goes so fast. Its going so far…

I see Katnip go into the train. Her face is cold and unexpressive. I know her so well… so am I imagining the tension in each of her steps? I guess not. When the close behind her my teeth clench together.

My eyes get blurry and I dry them before anyone see's the tears.

**Hi gu****ys! I just started writing this and I hope you like it! the chapters are smaller than I thought they would be but I'll try to make them longer. Send me FEEDBACK! I NEED IT! **

**thanks! love y'alll! :)**


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